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Acast| Show No | Show Date | Show Description (By @IainLeeQuotes) | Download |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 5th October 2008 | Iain chats to Vikki Spit of the band Spit Like This and reveals he's in one of their videos. The topic Best Dinner Guests goes down well, with Hitler being surprisingly popular. A very Bob Mortimer sounding Rutger Hauer calls in. | |
| 2 | 12th October 2008 | Iain has a bit of a bag on at the "piss poor" jingles he's been given but cheers up later when he chats to Stephen Stills' bass player. He does the Podcast Top5 List and tells of the time he got an eggy surprise whilst rutting under an open loft window. | |
| 3 | 19th October 2008 | Iain's first hope for Sony gold comes in the form of Alan Caddick enthusiastically singing Virtual Insanity on the karaoke - unfortunately the philistines don't recognise. The Top10 Onanism songs are discussed and we hear about celebrities refusing autographs. Last Rockstar standing is played. A flagship moment in the life of Barry from Watford occurs when he reads Margaret's diary live on air and finds out about Prakesh, her bit on the side. Iain takes "a big pink leaf out of Davis' big gay book" and admits to going spinning class. Iain ends the show by doing a weak storm out but has to return when he gets to his car as he's forgotten his keys. | |
| 4 | 26th October 2008 | Bath Special tonight folks, grab your soap on a rope. Iain asks if you have ever killed an animal and allows Ryan2 to take Ollie Turner's staying on record with 166 minutes - shame he's a bellend and Rob puts him in his place. | |
| 5 | 2nd November 2008 | Iain throws a diva hissy fit in Blockbusters (ask your Grandparents) when he rents (ask your Grandparents) the film Misery (ask ... never mind). Rob Burnett finds out Iain has been through his Facebook pictures when the Coronation St theme becomes his signature, his ginger curtains become a source of amusement for (a proportion) of the nation. Iain gives away the ages zero to fifty years old AND SAYS MELK INSTEAD OF MILK. AGAIN. | |
| 6 | 9th November 2008 | Iain opens the show by apologising for parts of the previous week's show. Innit. Vinny wants to become Iain's agent and creates Lex, the Homosexual Ghost. Iain turned down Celebrity Scissorhands and finds out The Merchant's topics work a treat. | |
| 7 | 16th November 2008 | Teetotal Iain Lee admits he has touched the Devil's penis by advertising cider and is relieved to find out Milly is over 18 and just adorably creepy, rather than illegally creepy. The London Fractures have split up and Alan Caddick has got a hospital radio gig - but all these pale into insignificance because STEVE GUTTENBERG is a live phone guest! | |
| 8 | 23rd November 2008 | Iain shows he's commited to his stand up by admitting he showed his penis to a gay the previous Thursday. He says melk again and it's the real The Merchant vs The Fake Merchant. Iain also spends the whole show giving out five golden tickets for listeners to come into the studio next week .... and then buggered off to Hawaii for Lost so there wasn't a show! | |
| 9 | 7th December 2008 | Iain cancelled the previous week's show to go Hawaii and no one told poor old Barry from Watford, who had turned up and nearly froze to death stood outside! This prompts a call from Barry's son, Dave from Pinner, who is definitely NOT tiddley on drugs. Alan Caddick's one question to God would've been is Elvis still alive! Rob Burnett is in the studio and on fine form - unfortunately Taylor Guy is also in and not. Ta-da! | |
| 10 | 14th December 2008 | Iain gets an early Christmas present by interviewing DAVY JONES of the Monkees. He tries to find 101 different ways of saying cheers but ONLY gets to 23. It is Davis' birthday so Iain buys him a copy of Club magazine to "have one" on him, describes Super Soccer Double Football and annoying Morim Dog calls in. | |
| 11 | 21st December 2008 | Iain shows his feminist side by apologising on behalf of Rob for referring to his "bit of skirt as a bird". Iain finds a song better than Good Vibrations, called Isn't It Time by The Babys, he conducts a listener version of Band Aid and CONTRACT BEEN RENEWED! | |
| 12 | 28th December 2008 | Iain decides the last show of the year should be the 52 scrag end topics he has left over. He wonders if the show is too blokey, asks if you have ever chatted up a homeless and plays the answerphone messages, which a pissed up Rob Burnett has left a lot of. Oh, and Alan from Glasgow needs sexual healing but probably a cream rather than Marvin Gaye. | |
| 13 | 4th January 2009 | Iain is all giddy because he went to see Steve Guttenberg in panto and the Gute said Iain's name twice on stage! He hosts the alternative New Years Honours List, hears from Smudge the Gritter, reveals he 'starred' in a film called 'Do Elephants Pray?' that will come out one day and the phrase frozen serpentine gets mentoned a lot - mostly by Gary from Catford (not officially Gatford yet - long time away) | |
| 14 | 11th January 2009 | Iain shows he has a Chris Morris kind of mind, when he gives an analogy of something cruel as "it's like when they get a 3 legged dog to run in circles and throw biscuits at it's eyes". Polystyrene Berlin Wall confusion, 'Butchering The Beatles' cd, rock memorabilia (Iain has a cheque of Brian Wilson) and the comedy guru LOGAN MURRAY interview. (PL) | |
| 15 | 18th January 2009 | Iain brings culture to the heathens by using classical music as beds. The show creates The Iain Lee Phonetic Alaphabet (see @iainleequotes on twitter, look under media). Darkbreath gets her name but the truth of her real darkside doesn't come out just yet! | |
| 16 | 25th January 2009 | Want to know the heart and inner turmoil of an angst-ridden 15 year old Iain Lee? Well this show was is the place to do it, when Iain reveals the song lyrics book he wrote in his youth. Gems such as 'It Took So Long', Astor Apartments and many more see the light of day! "These are some words that I scribbled down, as I look out to sea, waiting for my train"; "I used to be King ... and I'm having and I'm having a hell of a time, just trying to keep my mind". (And he's always mocked my poems!). Bernard and Nigel, two contestants from Come Dine With Me are on the phone. | |
| 17 | 1st February 2009 | Quite a busy show today. Alan Caddick and Mr Naughty have a set to at the start of the show, closely followed by Conman Joe and Hugo Peters having words - angry start! Iain gets callers on to play Child Top Trumps and Iain has to stay late as John Osborne is delayed in snow - even with Iain's directions past knocking shops. Being a more innocent time, Iain tells how he's on twitter now and has 850 followers! Iain ruins Sixth Sense for some and doesn't like tattoos. | |
| 18 | 15th February 2009 | Two Topic Special tonight and Iain sings Happy Birthday to Alan Caddick. Iain doesn't haggle very well, finds his new favourite tv channel is Movies for Men 2 +1 and he's watching World at War boxset. The fantastic BRUCE CAMPBELL interviewed (SPR). | |
| 19 | 20th February 2009 | A young barrowgirl by the name of Eloise Carr joins Iain for the first time tonight and quickly settles into the wang chung / breakfast lunch and dinner of things. CHRISTIAN LEE is in the studio (SL) to do some magic, as is a young lad called Luke (G-man innit I think). The topics include monkey films and a 41 second Pradeep occurs. | |
| 20 | 21st February 2009 | Bit of a disturbing show for Iain tonight as he finds out the truth about sphincters and what happens during childbirth - all I'll say are Ripping and broken bumholes. We find out Iain has had his first Subway butty today, his catflap is 19 by 23cm and Tim Shaw is known as Nick Shaw to his biggest fans. | |
| 21 | 22nd February 2009 | Iain does a live director's commentary on Twitter tonight and gets a free Wii on air. Speaking of gaming, we find out the Lee's RockBand group name is The Bombs (see nicknames episode). I've written Canadian Fruitbowl on the twitter feed and have no idea why. Iain also plays menu Guess Who, but can't remember what a turbot is. This is also the show where Vinny thinks a Menage a Trois is a type of dog! | |
| 22 | 1st March 2009 | Iain interviews JARROD CHRISTMAS (SL) where they talk about the sitcom they are filming together, in which one plays an Australian and the other plays a knob. Professor Joe Lathems, the UFO expert talks dogging with Barry from Watford. Micro celebrities are discussed and Iain has sideburns or Sidneys envy. | |
| 23 | 2nd March 2009 | Tonight Iain remembers Forgotten Pop Pinups (Wendy James being my personal favourite) and has bought a VW Polo. The lead singer of Elbow, GUY GARVEY (PL) gives a good interview, Alan Caddick takes massive umbrage with the town of Oxford after they cheated on University Challenge and Iain was in the 'Spotted' section in Heat Magazine, sweating in a spinning class. | |
| 24 | 3rd March 2009 | Iain and Eloise discover the "Iain Lee's Eloise Appreciation Society" group on Facebook and are amused to find it has 28 members! I requested to join on the 9th of February 2017 but it had dropped to 1 member by then! Iain is thinking of going to see Michael Jackson at the O2 in four months times - what could go wrong? Topics include Hindi Songs, Tache or No Tache, and Bowie Impressions. | |
| 25 | 4th March 2009 | How much to strip is discussed tonight and while Eloise is quite realistic with £10k, Davis is delusional with his price. Loads of cock swinging this week with the alpha males Iain and Ben Jones competing in a series of challenges - today's was dead arms - one of them hit like a girl. | |
| 26 | 5th March 2009 | Covering for Geoff Lloyd again today, otherwise it DEFINITELY would have been Iain announcing Michael Jackson at the O2 concerts, not Dermot. Being a man, Iain installed a washing machine today and does Chinese burns with Ben Jones. Alan Caddick owns the show and a topic is Things You've Been Barred From - Iain's was Boderline Club while Eloise got booted out of Brownies - shocking! | |
| 27 | 6th March 2009 | Iain reveals his Celebrity snog USED to be Sarah Beeny - until Fandango found out he was going to work with her and made him change it! Eloise reveals her's is the egg shaped headed Ross Kemp and later get's herself banned from the Iain Lee Show by leaving ten minutes early - or she was going on holiday, who can tell. | |
| 28 | 8th March 2009 | Eloise forced to be at home tonight (or on holiday, or just not on mic) so forced to join twitter and make her first tweet. Iain has a No Girls Show, plays Word Disassociation and admits driving in his nightie (wee willy winkie thing). | |
| 29 | 9th March 2009 | Apparently EU law stated Iain had to allow girls to call in from now on and he looks for the Top Ten Songs With Spoken Word Sections. He asks about pets with missing parts and plays Mallett's Mallet against Ben Jones. | |
| 30 | 10th March 2009 | Eloise sees the error of her ways and issues an apology to the listeners for her previous actions. We hear her's and Iain's phoning in sick voices and Iain enthuses about Timerider on youtube. It's 2 all in the Iain vs Ben competition. | |
| 31 | 11th March 2009 | Some good Pradeeping today when Eloise destroys Alan Caddick. Iain is happy as he managed to get tickets for the forthcoming Michael Jackson concerts - what could go wrong?! Topics include Earworm songs and Expensive Gig Tickets. | |
| 32 | 12th March 2009 | Rob Burnett helps Iain by giving an interesting travel report, which is good as he is Kim Wilde's favourite caller. Iain and Ben Jones decide Zoolander will be the choice for the new film club podcast. | |
| 33 | 13th March 2009 | Iain continues in his mission to massacre all the great songs by singing Bohemian Rhapsody with Eloise and Julia Abbott. A party of some sort is happening in the building, resulting in a drunk getting thrown out of the studio. Today's rob Burnett fan is Chris de Burgh. | |
| 34 | 15th March 2009 | This show is an Arguing Special, resulting in Iain and Alan Caddick having a row about horse racing and we get a glimmer of Alan's 'Excuse Me' rant catchphrase. Iain finds out a listener called Lianna wants to tattoo his name on her arse, on the opposing cheek to Allan Lake's name! Anxious Man plays a 15 minute Pradeep and a brillant SPARKS interview (PL) Oh, Iain has a tache. | |
| 35 | 22nd March 2009 | No Beds Special and only callers allowed on that have names in songs. Iain wasn't able to attend the recent Absolute Radio party due to a previous engagement and general antipathy towards frivolities - Davis went but didn't get any 'Jack and Danny'. Randy uses bread as emergency toilet paper, a listener learns not to email crap to Iain and include his phone number when Iain rings him at half two and wakes the house up! A really good interview with documentarian NICK BROOMFIELD (PPR) | |
| 36 | 29th March 2009 | Iain asks if you've ever been caught watching porn / having shepherd's pie - ask Iain about watching Riptide! Missy's son collected cats whiskers while Iain's nephew has a pet spud. Max from Crouch End treats his bad chest with Ibulieve, while Iain treats his by taking it to the zoo. | |
| 37 | 5th April 2009 | Iain April Fools Barry from Watford into thinking he's won £20 grand on Who's Colin Christian ... and then has to deal with a crying old man. Iain gets told off in text from Fandango for revealing too much on air; the ineptness of the gang as thieves is revealed and Iain has a new catchphrase - Yo yo yo, bumrush the show. | |
| 38 | 12th April 2009 | Tonight Iain introduces a bunch of new beds, including Gonna Fly Now and a cd called synthsonic sounds which Paul Ross gave him two years before. Iain has FINALLY watched JCVD and loves it, he's recognised in the street by Christopher Eccleston, they try to do the A-Z of actors and a Nigerian scammer has tried to con him - see Shindiggory. | |
| 39 | 19th April 2009 | Iain goes to see David Byrne in Brighton, although he's delayed when he can't find the car and realises he left it at a train station. When he does eventually get there he sits next to Fatboy Slim. Rob Burnett declares his love for 'Delicious' Davis and Iain chooses a listener to wrestle. | |
| 40 | 26th April 2009 | Iain, regretting not keeping his appointment on Friday with the bum doctor, is a bit of a mess down there. There's a loud thunk as he drops Jimi Mistry's name when describing a nutter in their local gym, the show builds a house from listener's spare rooms and Iain's finished the biography of Lindsey Buckingham so the obsession begins. | |
| 41 | 17th May 2009 | A BIG show today. Iain and Eloise do their first solo show as Davis is off due to tragically losing a bollock in a spinning accident. Also, Iain thinks clams underwater look like "pulsating psychedelic vaginas" - filth! Rob congratulates Iain on convincing a woman he's straight by marrying Fandango and Andy in Basildon - soon to become Andre - calls 'Tim' a lot. Good news from the Sonys when Iain (but mainly Barry from Watford) wins a Sony Silver, coming second to a bunch of prisoners. ANDY PARTRIDGE of XTC gives a brilliant phone interview, Milly Cupcakes does limericks for Iain, Elosie, Rob Burnett, but the main event is Iain wrestling a listener called Matt Early AND KICKING HIS ARSE! | |
| 42 | 24th May 2009 | Iain tells of a new tv sitcom he rehearsing for called 'Scum Also Rises' (later changed to The Persuasionists) but rues that he didn't get any laughs while Adam Buxton got loads. Rob from Pondersend makes his first call, Iain swears down he'll take Alan Caddick on a plane (they both forget about it over time) and Iain does the full show as if it was pre-recorded in the week - mostly confusion. | |
| 43 | 31st May 2009 | Iain invites some randoms into the studio today, with only one person being booted out for being a bell and no murdering or bumming being done. Professor Heinz Wolff & Kid Creole both claim Rob Burnett is their favourite radio caller. | |
| 44 | 5th June 2009 | Iain tries to poach a listener from Mansfield 103.2 called Kai but he won't have it and Watko wins again. He later rings a woman in India who has emailed, to only find out it is 5am there! Oh, and he says 'Lindsey Buckingham' 63 times in 2 minutes. | |
| 45 | 6th June 2009 | Iain gives away the email address [email protected] to Gary from Luton so feel free to email him. Andre / Andy gets soundboarded without realising and Iain & Eloise eat Hula Hoops. | |
| 46 | 7th June 2009 | Tonight's the night that came to be known as Vinnygate, in which Varinder would take ANY story from the last eight months given to him by a caller, and put -gate on the end! Iain meanwhile, welches on a bet regarding The Apprentice (although I can't remember what it was now). | |
| 47 | 14th June 2009 | Limahl can't help but admit that Rob Burnett is his favourte caller, while Iain gives away Rock Star names. The dangerous topic of Sex Injuries is discussed and Iain admits he almost broke his wrist once, while Darkbreath got spaff in her eye. In her eye! | |
| 48 | 21st June 2009 | Iain, deep in his Fleetwood Mac phase, admits he has to fight the urge to leather it in the Polo when 'The Chain' comes on. Eloise does her cow impression, which is frankly scary and Barry from Watford gets to hear Rob from Pondersend tell his levitating in a police cell story. | |
| 49 | 28th June 2009 | Someone called Rosie (not Ribena) leaves a 3 minute answerphone message panning the show and calling Iain "lower than Jonny Vaughan" - but at least his mum loves him. Davis does his last show, which makes Rob Burnett cry but the big news is Iain now has 4 Michael Jackson tickets for sale ... seeing as he just died! | |
| 50 | 5th July 2009 | Iain admits that from the ages of 7 until he was about 12 his mother had convinced him that his middle name was Gaylord - so Iain Rougvie may have become Iain Gaylord by deed poll and this would be iaingaylordpodcasts.co.uk! JOSIE LONG live in the studio (SL) where old nasty nicknames are discussed - Iain being Crazy Legs Crane; Josie being Chubby Checker and Gary from Catford wonderfully being Gaztec Camera! Don't talk to Iain about cardboard boxmakers; which animals could be put in a silent zoo; Eloise now producer in all but name (and salary probably) and Iain has been mistaken for Dick and/or Dom. | |
| 51 | 12th July 2009 | Eloise decides to skive after one show so Iain is produced by Butch Patrick and in a different studio. Boxgate continues, with Iain still not got his box or his £47.72 back. Pauly gives advice on other ways to dispose of a prostitute and Iain toys with jacking it all in and becoming a teacher. | |
| 52 | 19th July 2009 | Even all these years ago, as nowadays on talkRadio, some people just don't get IT IS A SHOW! When Iain plays the same clip umpteen times before 'finding' the right one - that's just a bit. When Iain says he only has one bed so HAS to play the same one on repeat, he's blagging - something a young caller doesn't get when he phones whinging. Iain and Eloise get to name a caller and his girlfriend's naughty bits (Fru Fru and Spatula), Iain has made it to 36 without getting a filling, Eloise claims she won't have one either in the next 10 years - I checked after 8 years and she'd had one, so 1-0 IL. Iain has a tassel, Rob Burnett won't do orgies cos 'germs', Milly sings Billy Joel and 'I am Ross Stevens'. | |
| 53 | 26th July 2009 | Iain is the Primark radio and proud of it. He even allows Mr Naughty to attempt a non-sexual topic but he doesn't quite do it. Young Annabel rings in after a few years and Iain hosts The Co-Lee-Sium, which is an idea of Andy Partridge's, and becomes a feature for a bit - tonight was the debate on U2 being good or bad. Last night was Frank Sidebottom's infamous drunken 100 Club gig and tonight sees the first of the 'Iain's Video Diaries' on the Youtube channel iainonabsolute. | |
| 54 | 2nd August 2009 | Iain describes how he's just as common as the little folks, by recently using a council swimming baths and being really brave about the anus veruccas and gob plasters. Tonight is also Iain Lee: The Musical, where he, Eloise and all the callers sing their calls and links for a whole hour. The Co-Lee_Seum is vanilla vs chocolate ice cream, The Beatles in panpipes gets an airing and Psychic Sylvia goes proper dark. | |
| 55 | 9th August 2009 | Iain has been to a wedding in Sweden where he impressed loads with his uncle dancing. The Alan Caddick 'Excuse Me' rant becomes a ringtone, plus Paris Hilton or Jordan creates fills more time and creates more arguments than it probably should. | |
| 56 | 16th August 2009 | Iain has been a bit feisty this week, what with arguing with a fat bloke on Oxford St who wanted to kill him and badminton playing tyre fitters. The co-Lee-seum debate tonight is whether Caddick stays or goes - HE STAYS! (Not really a spoiler, he still calls in eight years later). Iain asks if all mountains in Scotland are called Ben - rent-a-jock Alan from Glasgow rings in. A random called Eddie calls in, turns out to be a pianist who played with Andy Kaufman at Carnegie Hall, amongst other places! Iain shags a wall on the video diary and R-Kelly is Trapped in the Closet. | |
| 57 | 30th August 2009 | Iain manages to track down the son of of Simon Dee and ask if Simon will come on the show ... on the same day that he dies! Barry from Watford gets tiddley on Speckled Hen and is forthright upon subjects ranging from Stewart Lee and ASBOS, to Marley and Me and Notting Hill. Iain also asks Who is Your Third Favourite on Dragons Den and interviews DUCKWORTH LEWIS METHOD (SPR). | |
| 58 | 6th September 2009 | Iain get to chat to the delightfully Northern Sue Morgan, which is very entertaining and a nutter called Sophia is on FOR AN HOUR not listening to anyone and just waffling on - Iain doesn't actually speak at all, for all the time. | |
| 59 | 13th September 2009 | And this is it, the final Sunday Night Show EVER. To celebrate, Iain and Eloise are joined in the studio by Rob Burnett, Paulie and Watko. After a Fleetwood Macc singalong, the final call of the final show goes to Anxious Man with "At times unbearably so". As Iain himself states it, "A fitting way to end". | |
| Show No | Show Date | Show Description (By @IainLeeQuotes) | Download |
